Anxiety is a symptom of stress. It is a reaction caused by the fight, flight or freeze response. The fight, flight or freeze response can be initiated by an unspecified fear detected by your nervous system from your brain. You often can’t pinpoint what it is that you are anxious about. The focus of anxiety is more internal than external. It seems to be a response to a vague, distant, or even unrecognized danger. You might feel anxiety about “losing control of yourself” or some situation. Or you might feel vague anxiety about “something bad happening”.

Anxiety can affect your whole being. It can lead to a physiological, behavioral and psychological reaction all at once. On a physiological level, the symptom of anxiety can lead to other physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, muscle tension, queasiness, dry mouth, or sweating. Behaviorally, it can sabotage your ability to act (the freeze part of the fight flight or freeze response), to express yourself, or to deal with certain everyday situations. Psychologically, anxiety can cause uneasiness and apprehension. In its most extreme form, it can cause you to feel detached from yourself and even fearful of dying or going crazy. Anxiety can appear in different forms and levels of intensity. It can range in severity from a mere twinge of uneasiness to a full-blown panic attack marked by heart palpitations, disorientation and terror.

THE CAUSES OF ANXIETY

Everyone’s body is different. Therefore, everyone’s brain is wired differently. The brain is the most complex organ in the human body. It controls all of our functions including our nervous system. It also makes us aware of danger. Sometimes it does so consciously, other times subconsciously. There are times in our lives when we may feel anxious and not know why. We may just wake up with tremendous anxiety and have it remain with us for the rest of the day. Or we may be placed in a certain situation during our day and suddenly feel overwhelmed by anxiety.

The symptoms of muscle tension, queasiness, apprehension and terror may be felt. Yet we don’t know why we are experiencing this. It is most likely because the brain is perceiving danger. You, however, may not be consciously aware of what that danger is. It can be buried deep in your subconscious. Once your brain perceives danger it sends a signal to your nervous system which starts the fight, flight or freeze response to help protect you. Unfortunately. one of the reactions which is built in to protect us is anxiety. Anxiety will give us uneasiness as well as apprehension and cause us to run from the danger or at least try to avoid it as a mechanism to preserve us.

Why is it that some people are prone to anxiety while others are barely affected by it? Genetics is one reason. If you have a family history of members who have suffered from anxiety issues, you will have a greater chance of having anxiety problems than a person without such a history. Another cause of one being susceptible to anxiety is their personality. Some people suffering from anxiety have a high anxiety personality. High anxiety personality and the anxiety provoking traits associated with it can be rooted in childhood experiences. Your childhood contributes to the beliefs and traits that you carry with you for your entire life. The following section contains a list of high anxiety personality traits. Make a check next to any traits you recognize in yourself.

High Anxiety Personality Traits

High Level of Creativity or Imagination - People suffering from severe anxiety are often very creative with the ability to imagine things vividly. Unfortunately, this creativity can become a powerful force behind negative anticipation and “what if” thinking.

Rigid Thinking - This is the tendency to perceive events as either right or wrong, fair or unfair with no middle point of view. This type of thinking may involve having many rigid rules. There may be a “correct” way to do things and it becomes upsetting when things are not done in that correct way. Also there may be feelings that things “should,” “must” or “can’t” be done by oneself or other people they are dealing with.

Excessive Need for Approval - This is often referred to as a fear of rejection. It is a dependence on others for a sense of self worth. The person tends to have a heightened sensitivity to criticism and finds it difficult to say no to the demands of others. This trait can also cause the person to take responsibility for the feelings of others and to be overly sensitive to their needs. A person with this trait often makes it his or her responsibility to keep friends and relatives happy.

Extremely High Expectation of Self - There is an expectation of a much higher level of performance and accomplishment from oneself than would ever be expected from others.

Perfectionism - This trait causes the person to have the tendency to focus on small flaws and errors rather than on progress or overall achievement. They may consider anything less than perfect achievement a complete failure. They then personalize the poor achievement so both the task and the person are perceived as failures. A perfectionist often says things such as “ Overall, this project was done well, but……” The perfectionist then dwells on what was wrong.

Excessive Need to be in Control - This trait places a high value on being calm and in control. There is often a need for events to be predictable. Unexpected changes in a predetermined schedule cause distress. There may also be a tendency to try and control the feelings and behaviors of others. This person may present a “proper image” to the world even when there is tremendous self-doubt and turmoil inside. She may even be considered very strong by friends and relatives

Suppression of Some or all Negative Feelings - An individual with this trait often suppresses feelings that ”shouldn’t” be felt because they might cause loss of control or disapproval from others. Anger and sadness are 2 examples of feelings often repressed.

The traits described above are not necessarily undesirable. The trait of creativity is a source of effective problem solving. The need for approval is essential for healthy relationships. Perfectionism and high expectations create valuable members of society. Control of self and emotions help a person function well during emergencies and in the midst of chaos.

There is a healthy range for any given trait a person can possess. A trait creates problems only when it is exaggerated, interferes with the person’s life and becomes unhealthy. If you recognize yourself as having some of these traits the key is to learn how to moderate them so they are in a normal range and can be effective when they are needed. Learning to use them in this way, minimizing them during times when they interfere with your life and transforming them into valuable assets will be taught to you in this program. First, let’s explore some possible causes that may have created the traits which have  become problems in our lives. Realizing how you developed these traits will ease your confusion about your condition.

Childhood Experiences that can Contribute To Beliefs and Traits Associated With Anxiety

Your personality developed from the interaction of seven factors:

1. The values and beliefs of the family in which you were raised

2. The methods of discipline used to train and socialize you

3. The role models presented by the adults in your life when you were young

4. Your place within the family constellation (your birth order, the sex of your siblings, and whether or not you had siblings that had died, were handicapped or joined the family as a result of remarriage or adoption).

5. The social and cultural influences present while you were growing up

6. Your biological inheritance

7. The meaning you gave to each of the above while growing up

There are many ways in which these seven factors can interact to produce the high anxiety personality (HAP) traits described previously. In addition, the 7 factors above, shaped beliefs about yourself,relationships and the world.

Experiences and Events Contributing to High Anxiety Personality Traits

Experiences and events can also contribute to the development of HAP traits. Listed below are some we may have faced in childhood. Check any that apply to you:

• Substance abuse in the family - Many of the coping skills that help children survive in the home of a substance abuser can interfere with their lives as they enter the adult world. When problems arise they may have an instinct to “don’t look”, ”don’t feel” ,”run away”. They may have a tendency to rely on the drug of choice to avoid feeling the pain associated with life’s problems.

• Child abuse- there are 6 types of child abuse:

  • Physical Abuse -being hit ,pushed, whipped, bitten, punched, slapped or burned.

  • Sexual Abuse -any kind of sexual contact with a child by either an adult or child through the use of coercion, threat or force.

  • Neglect - the failure to provide basic necessities such as clothing, shelter, medical attention or supervision.

  • Cruel and Unusual Punishment - a punishment that is extreme or inappropriate for a child’s age or ability to understand. Example include: corporal punishment that results in injury, locking a child in a closet, forcing a child to toilet train at 6 months and sitting a child in a corner for hours at a time.

  • Emotional Neglect - failure by a parent to be emotionally available, to take an interest in, talk to, hold or hug a child

  • Psychological abuse -any form of recurring communication that causes extreme and unnecessary mental suffering. Examples include: name calling or belittling, blocking a child’s efforts to accept him or herself and threats of abandonment.

• Anxious parental role model - When a parent suffers from severe anxiety, has fearful beliefs, or has many of the personality traits above.

• Critical Parent or Family Member - Excessive criticism often comes from a perfectionist parent with unrealistic expectations. Sometimes excessive criticism or teasing comes from a brother or sister. The result is a poor self image and belief of inadequacy.

• Rigid Family Rules - Growing up in an environment which has many rigid rules can set up a pattern of black and white thinking. A child in a family where there is chaos due to illness, alcoholism, or abuse may develop rigid rules in order to create a sense of security amid the chaos.

• Parents With a Rigid Belief System - a child brought up in a rigid belief environment, which may be based on cultural background or religious affiliations, can be afflicted with rigid, black and white thinking.

• Emphasis on Appearance or Proper Behavior - a demand for a child to always act properly can cause the child to feel inadequate and worthless if he fails to live up to this ideal image of a perfect person.

• Overprotective Parent - Over-protection tends to encourage the belief that taking risks is dangerous and should be avoided. It also keeps the child from learning how to handle adversity.

• Suppression or Denial of Feelings - a child can be taught to suppress feelings by being told things such as “Don’t cry,” “You shouldn’t feel that way,” or “Don’t be angry with me.” A child can also be taught indirectly by watching parents who suppress and deny feelings. Also, when the expression of feelings triggers violence or abuse in others, a child may need to suppress feelings in order to survive.

• Lack of Information About Bodies and Emotions - This often plays a major role in developing unrealistic expectations about what a person should be able to do or how a person should react to situations.

• Performance Related Approval - Some children only receive approval  when something is accomplished such as high grades, or the development of a talent such as music or sports. A parent fails to distinguish between the child’s action and the child’s value as a person. The negative impact of this is increased when the parent not only requires the child to perform in order to be loved, but also demands a level of competence beyond the child’s ability.

• Anxiety About Separation or Loss - a child can experience significant anxiety when separated from a parent for a prolonged period of time, especially when the child doesn’t understand the reason for the separation. Common reasons are extensive travel for business, prolonged hospitalization, divorce and death. A parent who is physically present but ignores a child can also cause anxiety and a feeling of abandonment.

• A Reversal of Child Parent Roles - when a parent is sick, busy or absent, a child sometimes assumes the role of a parent in some way. A child who is required to assume adult responsibilities for which he is not ready, such as managing the house, often needs to develop a rigid set of rules in order to survive. This contributes to black and white thinking, the suppression of feelings,  the need to be in control and high expectations of self.

• A Family Secret- sometimes a lot of a family’s energy is used to keep a family secret hidden, such as premarital pregnancy, alcoholism, legal wrongdoing by a family member, or a family member in a mental institution. This generates the mistaken belief that certain types of feelings are wrong and must be suppressed or hidden from others. Family secrets can also contribute to the creation of an excessive need for approval.

The activities that follow in this program may seem awkward, uncomfortable, or difficult. Facing your problems and changing thoughts and behaviors which are impeding your life is painful. Working on changing them is the path to a more comfortable and enjoyable life. The effort and dedication that you put into the suggested activities will directly correlate to the success you have in reducing the anxiety and stress in your life. Working on them will give you the relief you are looking for.