Once a mental illness is suspected
getting help and treatment is the next step.

An appointment with a family physician for a physical examination may be a good start. He can evaluate the patient's physical condition and eliminate any potential physical causes. The next step is to find a mental health professional. This may come in the form of a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or social worker. Getting an accurate diagnosis of a mental illness is a very important but difficult step in treatment of a mental illness. Unlike physical illnesses and diseases, mental illness has much to do with the thoughts and emotions of a person.

There is no medical test that can be given to diagnose a mental illness. The diagnosis is formulated from feelings and behaviors over a time period. Thus it becomes a bit more subjective than let's say a blood test. Sometimes, a diagnosis that is given is incorrect. Sometimes medication which has worked successfully on patients in the past may not be effective to that individual. A psychiatrist or therapist who worked out well for one person may not be the right professional for another. There is no blood pressure machine or thermometer that provides an instant indication of the results. It is the person's thoughts, feelings and behaviors, over sometimes extended periods of time that are the indicators of a successful course of treatment.

Unfortunately, many times the onset of deteriorating mental health is hidden. Its symptoms are not shared by the person experiencing them to their family physician, their friends or their family. We may have thoughts such as, " They'll think I'm weird," or, "I'm going crazy and I don't want anyone to know". We may be too frightened and "frozen". We don't want to be stigmatized. We may think it's a sign of weakness. Many times parents and family also fall into the same rabbit hole. Symptoms and behaviors are ignored, or excuses made for missing school or work due to anxiety or depression is explained as the flu.

A person experiencing mental health issues most often will be reluctant to talk about it. This will make the task of getting them the help they need very difficult. The first step we need to take is to open up a friendly, non- judgmental line of communication with them. They need to have someone who will listen and not be critical or condescending. Slowly developing a trusting relationship can provide a path to the willingness of the loved one to seek professional help.

• Talk to them in a space that is comfortable, where you won’t be interrupted and where there are there are minimal distractions.

• Ease into the conversation gradually. It may be that the person is not ready to talk, and that is OK. Greeting them and extending a gentle kindness can go a long way. Sometimes less is more.

• Be sure to speak in a relaxed and calm manner.

• Communicate in a straightforward manner and stick to one topic at a time.

• Be respectful, compassionate and empathetic to their feelings by engaging in reflective listening, such as “I hear that you are having a bad day today. Yes, some days are certainly more challenging than others. I understand.”

• Instead of directing the conversation at them with ‘you’ statements, try to use ‘I’ statements instead.

• Be a good listener. Be responsive and make eye contact with a caring approach.

• Ask them appropriate questions and avoid prying.

• Give them the opportunity to talk and open up but don’t press.

• Share some easy insights as a way of encouraging easy conversation, such as comments about the weather, the community or other.

• Reduce any defensiveness by sharing your feelings and looking for common ground.

• Speak at a level appropriate to their age and developmental level. Keep in mind that mental illness has nothing to do with a person’s intelligence.

• Be aware of a person becoming upset or confused by your conversation with them.

• Show respect and understanding for how they describe and interpret their symptoms.

• Genuinely express your concern.

• Offer your support and connect them to help if you feel that they need it. Ask, “How can I help?”

• Give the person hope for recovery, offer encouragement.

Things to Avoid Saying:

• “Just pray about it.”

• “You just need to change you’re attitude.”

• “Stop harping on the negative. You should just start living.”

• “Everyone feels that way sometimes.”

• “You have the same illness as my (whoever).”

• “Yes, we all feel a little crazy now and then.”

Things to Avoid Doing:

• Criticizing, blaming or raising your voice at them.

• Talking too much, too rapidly, too loudly. Silence and pauses are ok.

• Showing any form of hostility towards them.

• Assuming things about them or their situation.

• Being sarcastic or making jokes about their condition.

• Patronizing them or saying anything condescending.