Anxiety

Name to Display: Anna

Topic: Anxiety

Use this space to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with mental health issues.: I have suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and depression for over 10 years starting at the beginning of College. At first, I wasn't sure what was happening, I honestly believed I was having heart attacks because I was suffering from severe panic attacks. It was a strange transitional time, It felt like I was in a fog and I didn't have a strong grasp over what was happening or why it was happening. After having to move back home from living on campus, I started therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. For those who haven't been to either a therapist or psychiatrist, it can feel like a defeating moment, like you weren't strong enough to deal with it on your own. It is so important to realize that is not the case. Mental illness is just like any other illness, you need to see a doctor to get help and feel better. You must push through and help yourself. The best place to start is just making an appointment, don't put pressure on yourself to make any massive changes at that moment, just get through making the appointment, then next step is going to the appointment, then picking up your prescription, making a follow up appointment, and on and on. Small steps lead to big things. You need to build this into your routine of self care. It is not easy in the beginning, even if you don't believe you need therapy, you should go. It is always surprising what really has weighed on your mind when you are explaining your life to a complete stranger. After going a few times, I looked forward to therapy, it was a good feeling to be able to just talk with no judgement and have someone listen and give feedback on how to work my thoughts into actions and improve my day to day life. I worked with cognitive behavior therapy which is focused around reshaping your thoughts into rational thoughts and ending the circular thinking that traps a lot of people. Along with therapy, I started seeing a psychiatrist, who helped prescribe medication that worked for me. Medication is hard, to say the least. I went through a few medications that made me feel exhausted or dizzy or loopy until I found some that worked. And medication is maintenance, you always need to take note of how your feeling and changes you are experiencing and remember to bring them up with your Dr. But in the end, it is worth it. After 10 years, I am happy with a family and a job, I have had many up and downs and changes that I have had to deal with but it is possible to come out on top. The most important thing I have come to realize is that my brain is not normal, I need medication to live a normal, happy and healthy life and that is okay. It is just the way it is, and I am okay with that. All my love ,

Anna

Name to Display: Bailey C. Baldwin

Topic: Anxiety

Use this space to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with mental health issues.: Feeling anxious? Don’t worry, you’re not alone… there is hope!

Growing up, I never would have been described as the “anxious kid”. More so fun loving, adventurous, and determined. I knew what I wanted and I’d figure out how to make it happen. I had known that I wanted to be a Physician Assistant since I was 14, applied to the best programs, and was accepted to University of the Sciences in Philadelphia. This particular program was a 3+2 program, meaning I would complete my undergraduate degree in three years and then my masters in two, reducing the length of the typical PA program by a year. In order to do so, our undergraduate curriculum was composed of 21 credits per semester for three years (normal course load is 15-18 credits per semester).

When I got there, I was actually surprised at how well I was handling the intense course load. I didn’t have hardly any time for myself, especially attending twice weekly tutoring sessions for both biology and chemistry… but I was really enjoying it! Not even the occasional gunshot I could hear from my dorm room window was a major concern to me (yes, I was living in West Philadelphia… that isn’t all that uncommon or unexpected). But something shifted at the start of my second semester and it wasn’t because of the workload. I actually had less intense classes and because I was familiar with how the core science professors taught and tested, the 102 portions of the main science classes were much easier than their fall 101 counterparts.

Looking back, I believe it started with a record snowfall we got that canceled classes for a couple days. City officials declared a state of emergency and nobody was to leave their homes, dorms, etc. while giant machines cleared the streets and loaded the snow into dump trucks to be taken away. For the first time in my life, I was trapped. Although I hadn’t really gone anywhere the entire semester prior, the fact that I COULDN’T go anywhere really freaked me out and nothing was the same from that point forward.

I spent days crying for no reason, hyperventilating, and couldn’t focus on anything (including schoolwork) despite having nothing but time to do so. This continued even after the state of emergency was lifted… I was an absolute mess. My roommate referred me to the student health and counseling center (SHAC) who sent me a few blocks away to a psychiatrist with an affiliation to our school. I was completely opposed to taking medication, but Dr. Applegate explained that it was a necessary temporary solution because in my current state of mind, I wasn’t able to form cohesive thoughts so we wouldn’t be able to address what was going on and work through it. I agreed.

The medication didn’t allow me to think clearly so I began to do poorly in my math classes (couldn’t think analytically), but I began to get back on track in most other areas. I was sleeping again, the random crying spells with seemingly no cause were happening less and less, and I was continuing to work through things with the psychiatrist. Two months later, I had made several important decisions that I wouldn’t have been able to make in good conscious in my state of mind a couple months earlier. It was time to wean off the medication, it was time to leave the fast-paced curriculum (after all, why the rush?), and it was time to learn how to put myself first… something I had never learned how to do up to that point.

I started reading a lot about ways to prevent anxiety attacks and ways to mitigate them if they had already began. I tried a ton of options, but the most effective for me were yoga and meditation. The yoga kept me active and got the blood flowing. Meanwhile, I was learning to breathe in a manner that seemed to make the anxiety more manageable. Anyone who has had anxiety attacks (panic attacks) knows that in that moment, your breath seems to be out of your control. By the end of a class, my body was relaxed and open enough to let me sit and enjoy the benefits of that blood flow to my brain… a clear mind. I had not only found a couple incredible hobbies, but I had found my own medication.

Am I saying medication is bad? No, not at all. In fact, I am now a certified Physician Assistant and acknowledge the incredible role that pharmaceuticals play when used appropriately and responsibly. Am I saying yoga and meditation are the cure all for mental health? No. I’m only saying that if I had known then (that horrific January) what I know now about self-care and self-love, I may have been able to calm myself down enough to think clearly and make decisions that were best for me not out of fear, but out of love and compassion for myself. You can’t feed from an empty pot, right? How can you help yourself (or anyone else for that matter) if you aren’t finding ways to rejuvenate and ‘refill your pot’ so to speak?

For me, that’s yoga and meditation. For my husband, that is alone time with a book or a video game. It will be different for everyone and only you can know what it will be for you, but I encourage you to take the time (especially now that most of us have more time on our hands than we know what to do with, #quarantine2020) and figure out what you can do to fill your pot so that your mental health becomes something you can play an active part in rather than something outside of your control. These are indeed scary times and many people who have never experienced anxiety suddenly find themselves in their own version of my January 2010 experience.

If this is you, here are a few things than may help…

#1 – Count your breath (1,2,3,4 on the inhale… 1,2,3,4 on the exhale). This will bring your mind to this moment in time rather than focusing on fear of the future. The longer you do this, the higher your numbers will become (you may be able to get to 6, or even 8), meaning you are calming down and able to breathe more deeply. If you can get your exhale to be longer than your inhale, this will relax you even more because it will take you into your ‘rest & digest’ system (known as the parasympathetic nervous system) and leave your ‘fight or flight’ system (the sympathetic nervous system) behind. You’ll find that you lose count… no problem! You didn’t do anything wrong. This is how our brains work, they’re like toddlers that want you to read them a book and then get up 20 seconds later to run across the room and grab their favorite toy. Just laugh at yourself and then bring your attention back to the breath. Just like anything, the more you do it, the better you’ll get and you’ll be chasing that toddler of a brain less often. Anytime you find yourself getting anxious, just sit down and breathe for a few minutes. I have literally never met anyone who didn’t feel better when they were finished than when they started.

#2 – Try a free yoga class in the comfort of your own home and see if you like it as much as I do (or any form of exercise to get the blood flowing). My favorite teacher is Adriene Mishler and she has her own website (www.yogawithadriene.com) and a longstanding free YouTube channel called ‘Yoga with Adriene’. Here are three anxiety and stress related videos that you might want to start with. Just copy and paste these into google and it will come right up!

Yoga with Adriene - Yoga for Anxiety (20 min)

Yoga with Adriene - Yoga to Heal Stress (20 min)

Yoga with Adriene - Yoga for Stress Management (32 min)

#3 – Try to lessen the caffeine in your life and incorporate some herbal teas. Herbal teas are caffeine free and many have relaxing qualities. Celestial Seasonings has one called ‘Tension Tamer’ that I love, especially when I notice I’m getting a bit anxious. If you have difficultly sleeping, they also have one called ‘Sleepytime’ that I drink almost every night. If you are concerned about taste, there are many fruity herbal teas as well and you can always add a bit of honey for sweetness. My husband’s favorite is ‘True Blueberry’, also from Celestial Seasonings.

# 4 – Give some new things a try. This is the only way you’re going to know how to ‘fill your tank’. My husband and I recently started learning how to blow glass at a local art studio and we love it! We made the majority of our Christmas presents this past year and learned a new fun thing we can do together that fills both of our pots. Have fun experimenting!